PONDERINGS

PICTURES from the longest day(s) ever. anyways its quite a story and i would rather not have it be on the internet cus im really paranoid my parents would find it or something haha but anyway last weekend was super fun ahh. well i guess MEMORABLE is more suitable but nonetheless it was fuuun. i wish i had more pix of everyone not just me and lisa tho haha

so yes! tomorrow is my last day of summer school!!! i take my final and im DONE WITH ORGANIC CHEMISTRY yesyesyes!! SO EXCITED and after im getting a massage and going on a shopping spree at southcoast wif MOMMA ONG!!! yayaya i dont even care about conforming fuck that ima get black ray bans becuz they ky00t andd my tutor convinced me to never buy cheap sunglasses. WHY YOU ASK? welll because if they arent uva/uvb protected they end up causing your pupils to dilate (cus its darker) thus letting more damaging rays in! then you fuck up your eyes more! wow but anyways i feel like i need some justification for going back to expensive sunglasses besides being somewhat "bougie"

sort of excited for school to start? afraid i will be incapable of socializing with normal people. but i dunno im always paranoid about this kind of shit. i cant believe i have ACTUALLY read Frankenstein in like 3 days.. but that was a seriously macabre yet good book! surprise surprise.

ok well anyway when i discuss my antipathy towards athletics and sports and my incapablity to even BIKE i realize that YES although i am/was privileged, i had a deprived childhood. i didnt get to experience normal things like riding the bike or rollerskating or doing things with a bunch of kids... i basically sat on my ass watched tv and ate food, being spoonfed most of the time by a housekeeper (literally). and i guess the same is true for now.. same stuff i usually bitch about, not having enough time to "live" my adolescence/teen years. even in the summer the weekened hardly seemed enough to enjoy the summer or have fun. i dunno.

anyways i feel maaaaddd antisocial and like i have about 3 friends now this blows i dont know what happened. fuck organic chemistry takes so much damn time. i hate not having enough time. i wish there were more hours in a day or week. man hopefully ill have more time during school but i doubt it -_- i have stuff after school monday tuesday wednesday and probably ill do something thursday. blahhhh. weekends good enough i guess.

so i should be studying for my final but instead im on the internet and im watching predator. hHAHAa so tacky! but whatever! SO EXCITED TO BUY ME SOME CLOTHESSSS/SUNGLASSES/BATHINGSUIT/EVERYTHANG aha.

wow okay COLEGE APPS NEXT MONTH. NERVOUS MUCH? actually not really i dont know why it hasnt hit me. or maybe i just dont care. I ZUNNO.


peace. i dont think anyone even reads this anymore but im bored!