hey i updated

so i have to say friday/saturday were like ridiculously frustating yet fun days... haha. driving to LA was so freaking intense the traffic was soo ridiculous i ended up honking at some black person out of reflex in this sketchy ass area... hahaha WHOOPS my bad. someone needs to control road rage. anyways, yeah saturday went to the beach. it was funny but annoying at the same time. definitely had some highlights. some really good bonding with erica and diana for sure tho <3. sunday chilled at my house whatevz didnt even end up spending 'family time' cus i just went to go to the gym. hahaha my moms probably pissed at me but whatever

lately my moms been TRIPPIN about me coming home late. and forreal, she never cared before. and its not like i have a shitload of homework to do still. i swear, i feel like she expects me to be all nerdy like last year. but she doesnt even understand how fucking unhappy i was last year. god and she pulls excuses out of her ass like YOU CAME HOME LATE YESTERDAY. i came home at 10 and 11 in the past 2 days -_- wow mom. so late. i have concluded she just cant cope with me her last child leaving her.. and she expects some relationship which never existed to appear out of nowhere and for us to be bff or something. whatever! not going to happen. all i ever hear from my parents are lectures about school, god, or some stupid scientific shit. seriously. ask lisa who has sat at my dinner table... we have intellectual conversations UGHHHHH -_________-

anyway. besides that i freaking love my friends ive been so much happier. im loving my free time even though my harp is completely neglected.. sigh. i dont know i feel like i really needed this time to just be happy, damnit.

but nonetheless everything good comes to an end and everytime i think about this i cant help but think about going to college and how much ill fucking miss everyone not even funny. i swear.. its so hard to find good friends and i finally did. sigh im getting emotional as i write this :[ its not even because i feel like i wont find new friends. i know i will, i just hate thinking that i will never be able to relive those moments when i was happy... and its scary to know that after college everything will change. as much as i hate to think about it, ill probably end up losing alot of friends just out of the inconvenience of keeping in touch. change scares me, but i guess it can be good... or something.

oh yeah and ugh, i still feel fucking alone. bye.