just breathe.

i swear, i freak out over so much stuff. i need a damn chill pill or something even though i must agree that i am a huge idiot. but i dont know i guess it's somewhat understandable... im starting to fathom just how different i've become from that person i once wanted myself to be. i made myself so many promises that i have broken, and i'm afraid that i'll continue on this road... just lying to myself. but the only thing i can do is just think about these things, because for some weird reason i don't care. i don't care at all. in fact, i hardly care about anything. i wish i could care that i'm so indifferent, but i don't. i even once thought that the worst thing to be was to be apathetic...

i don't know. hopefully this is temporary because i currently feel like i'm going nowhere since i'm in this state of "limbo." like literally i have no idea what i'm going to do in my future since it depends on what college i go to...

i really wish that i could block out what people say. i really can't help the fact that when a bunch of people think something is shady then i begin to think it is too, even though i never thought that to begin with. i don't really care, but if it were true it would be really disappointing.